She is your equal, but she is different from you. Are you blindly trying to make her the same? Do you really want yourself for a lover?

Maybe she makes less money than you and feels badly about not contributing enough. Do you subtly re-enforce this? How generous do you allow yourself to be? What she has the potential to give you through her sheer feminine brilliance is far more valuable than cash. Do you encourage this brilliance through your actions and attitude, or are you stuck in “equality issues?” 

Maybe she makes MORE than you, doing work she loves, and you resent this. Can you let go of this love-killing fixation and take inspiration and nourishment from her? 

You probably pride yourself on certain qualities. 

Maybe you always put the CD back in its case. Maybe you’re always on time, or can account for every penny you spend.

Good for you, but don’t expect the same of her. When you reduce your relationship to navigating domestic life with maximum efficiency you kill love. Don’t nag her for leaving the CD out of its case, just put it away. And not with resentment, but with gratitude. Make it an act of celebration for the fact that she has been born, grown to adulthood and is now here, helping you feel something.

It is precisely her qualities that challenge you that are right now making you a better man. Wake up to this and start making your differences work for you.