Au contraire… My recent absence on this blog is due to the fact that I have formed a powerful new alliance with a successful organization that contributes massive value to people’s lives and relationships everywhere. 

So, where does this new development leave this blog and my coaching practice? The answer is evolving. I am continuing to serve my current coaching clients. I will take new clients selectively. I won’t be posting to this blog until I determine the role it will play on my current path. Expect positive change (how’s that for a three word life philosophy?).

I won’t be doing Gender Synergy calls until further notice. If you haven’t signed up, go ahead and do it, I’ll have something extraordinary to invite you to soon!

I’ll offer more details and special invitations to life and relationship enriching events soon. Stay posted!

Be Well.

All My Best,
Justice

What is your relationship keeping you from doing? 
Writing that book? 
Visiting that friend? 
Taking that class?

What is your relationship keeping you from being? 
Happy? 
Generous? 
Successful?

Guess what? It’s time to stop making excuses. DO and BE the things you’ve been putting off because of your relationship.

In fact, DO and BE these things NOW, despite whatever relationship excuse you’ve been making and your relationship WILL RESPOND. That’s right my man, you’ve been putting the cart before the horse. Get it turned around… and get going. You’ve got big stuff to do and be.

Start now.

(Hint: You can replace “relationship” with “job” “kids” etc)

 Jean-Pierre LeBlanc is the author of The One Minute Goddess, and is the man who originally introduced me to Gender Synergy and really helped me get it in my bones through his coaching and mentoring, as well as through the Goddess evenings and Life Bliss retreats. 

Jean-Pierre and I have reconnected quite powerfully recently, and I’m looking forward to personally attending some of the upcoming Co-Ed Goddess evenings and quite likely the Vancouver Life Bliss retreat.

I participated in the Life Bliss retreat in November 2007, and it was fabulous. Awesome Gender Synergy exercises, Enneagram personality typing, Yoga in the mornings… lots of learning in a very fun, supportive and celebratory environment with great food and great people. Highly recommended.

The Goddess evenings are a fun, easy way to learn about Gender Synergy principles and start applying them in your life. They’re free (a donation for Water for Africa is requested), well attended and potentially transformative. 

Here are dates for some of his upcoming events. Hope to connect with you at some of them!

Upcoming Goddess evenings:
September 8 (Bellingham, WA)
September 9 (Vancouver, BC)

Upcoming Life Bliss Retreats:
September 12-14 (Toronto)
September 19-21 (Vancouver)
October 3-5 (California)
 

For full details and registration visit: The Alchemy Network

My good friend Jean-Pierre LeBlanc turned me on to this video, which is no surprise given his own passion for turning challenges into opportunities.

By the way, both Jim and a longer version of this video can be found at the Keith Ferrazi Community - an online community of professionals and entrepreneurs who are helping each other succeed through the power of generosity and authentic relationships.

Please come by and look me up!

Cultivating True Success in Life, Work and Relationships

As human beings with a masculine core, men have special gifts to offer the world. Unfortunately, there is generally little support for men to develop to their truest potential. Many men have unknowingly twisted or disowned their true masculine nature in order to survive in confusing times. 

The Masculine Path uncovers these inherent gifts and cultivates the positive masculine qualities in each of us so that we can take greater Leadership in our lives, relationships, organizations and beyond. This men’s group provides challenge, encouragement and accountability on our individual paths of masculine integrity and excellence.

The group is facilitated by Professional Coach, Relationship Mentor and Certified Hakomi Therapist, Justice Schanfarber. This group is not therapy. It is based on principles of Gender Synergy, personal responsibility and developing an integrated, masculine-centred approach to Life, Work and Relationship Success.

The Masculine Path is for Men who:

•  Have a Masculine Core (regardless of sexual orientation)
•  Are willing to develop a deep Honesty with themselves and others
•  Have Goals, Vision or Longing for a Truly Meaningful, Healthy and Successful Life
•  Are ready to improve their Relationships, Marriage and Family Life 
•  Enjoy being Challenged and held Accountable by Conscious, Trustworthy Men
•  Will commit to showing up Real and pushing their Edge
•  Value Integrity and Personal Response-Ability
•  Want to discover their true Masculine Gifts and become a better Man - Husband/Lover/Father/Friend

Because we meet by telephone, this group is accessible to men everywhere.

NEW GROUP STARTS MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 2008! (New Groups starting regularly.)

To Learn More: The Masculine Path

The common way to interpret personal energy is - You either got it or you don’t. If your energy is “low,” you’re tired or depressed. If you have “lots of energy,” you’re amped up, ready to go. This is a quantitative sort of energy where you can imagine yourself as a measuring container with x amount of energy units to spend.

But a more subtle and qualitative sort of energy is just as important and real. This kind of energy is the vibe that we give off (a slang term that is in fact very accurate - all energy vibrates at a particular frequency). 

This qualitative energy can be thought of as both the sum total of our outer expressions (clothes, posture, facial expression, tone of voice), as well as the underlying inner quality of our being.

The important point is that we unconsciously communicate with and affect each other in real and measurable ways… invisibly… energetically. Maybe you have some sense or understanding of this. Did you know that you can consciously transform the kind of energy or vibe you give off, for your benefit as well as everyone else’s? 

For almost 20 years, Heartmath Institute has been measuring and studying the electromagnetic fields (EMFs) that our bodies emit, and they have made some fascinating discoveries:

• Our hearts emit measurable EMFs. So do our brains.
• These EMFs interact with each other, affecting our cognitive abilities and emotional states.

Also:

• Our heart’s EMFs, (as well as our brain’s) extend well out from our bodies and, get this,  affect other people’s hearts and brains!

I’m not going to go deeply into the specifics of this in this post, but suffice to say… You are right now unconsciously affecting your own and other people’s (ie: your lover or spouse’s!) emotional states, cognitive functioning and physiology with your own subtle energies, including the quality of your thoughts and feelings. Imagine the implications for your relationship.

The only question is… will you make it conscious? 

Visit the Heartmath sites, check out their fascinating findings, and take advantage of the resources they offer.

Links:

Blog: The Heartmath Report
Heartmath: Science of the Heart
Solutions For Stress

Kim and I tied the knot on Saturday, August 16. It was an amazing, unforgettable (and very hot!) day. We are eternally grateful for all the love and support we received from the fifty-some friends and family that graced us with their presence. 

We have been together for over four years, have had lots of ups and downs, and have a lovely two year old daughter together. Our marriage celebration has tangibly deepened our sense of connection, commitment and joy.

Many of our guests were touched by our vows and more than one asked me to make them available for future reference, so I’ve posted them here.

If you’re a regular visitor to this site, or a client or colleague, see if you can recognize the Gender Synergy elements…

My Vows:

Kim Marshall, I feel like the luckiest man in the world to have you as my wife. 

I promise to support you in every way that I know.

I love your ease of joy and your open, loving heart. 

I take it as my mission to give you reason and opportunity to continue opening and softening in all our years to come. 

I value you as my inspiration and my teacher. 

I vow to continue cultivating skill, trustworthiness, integrity and strength throughout our life together - in service to you, our family and the world.

I vow to be true, present and steady, and to bring humour, generosity and depth to our marriage.

I promise these things knowing full well that I will be both challenged and rewarded, and I’m  grateful for all of it.

Kim’s Vows:

Justice, I often think back to that weak-knee moment when we hugged, and I knew you were the man for me.

Surrendering to that knowing, in the face of adversity, is what brought me here today, to this joyous occasion.

I vow to continue surrendering into the wisdom of my heart, and into your embrace.

I trust in the goodness of our union, and vow to nourish and care for myself, that I might always inspire your heart and light up your life for all the years to come.

I vow to open in love more each day, and to nurture ease, happiness and well-being in our home and marriage.

I vow to let go of what does not serve me, and to move always toward joy.

I vow to welcome your gifts without reservation and to enjoy all the fruits of our togetherness in gratitude, love and even occasional reckless abandon.

I promise you the world within me.

There’s something inspiring about her. Maybe it’s a big thing, maybe it’s small. 

There’s a moment that she does or says something, or a way she moves. Let go of your criticism for just a few minutes. What’s divine about your woman? What stirs you?

Now choose to celebrate that. Celebrate it with a few deep, conscious breaths right now on your own. Celebrate it with a gift to her. You don’t have to tell her what you’re celebrating, but tell yourself.

If you’re not used to celebration, you might wonder what exactly I mean. Consider this equation: CELEBRATION = APPRECIATION + ACTION.

CELEBRATION IS APPRECIATION IN ACTION.

My coach Jean-Pierre LeBlanc turned me on to this simple and powerful realization during a group call. I understood the power of appreciation, but conscious celebration was less familiar. Now it has become second nature (thank you Jean-Pierre)! 

It’s easy to get hooked into fixating on all the problems in your relationship, the things you don’t like. This can become habitual, until subconsciously you believe that there are only problems to be fixed, only deficits.

You’re familiar with the law of attraction? What you focus your attention on expands. What you appreciate… appreciates. 

Well, CELEBRATION is like APPRECIATION to the power of ten because it includes ACTION. And because you are a human being with a masculine core, action is a potent synergist for whatever you find inspiring in Her.

Here it is in four easy steps:

1. Identify something (anything!) in your woman that you like, that you want more of.
2. Find a conscious, tangible way to celebrate it, alone or with her (or even with others…).
3. Watch it grow!
4. Repeat.

Imagine this - All of your life being a celebration… your appreciation in action. No more re-acting against, or numbing out. Pure celebration. What would your life be like? What would the world be like?

It’s possible. Start where you are. Start today. 

Here’s a CHALLENGE, and an opportunity to MAKE IT REAL and MAKE IT STRONGER: Share your celebration with our readers. Tell us WHAT you choose to celebrate in your woman, HOW you will celebrate it, and WHEN. Or share your stories of past celebration and the effect it had.

My hope is to see hundreds of men step up to this challenge and encourage other men with their ideas and stories of actively, consciously, celebrating their women. Please share.

At the root of any authentic spiritual practice is the cultivation of awareness beyond ego.

Your intimate or romantic relationship has much to offer in this regard. In fact, I suggest that this is one of the primary functions or opportunities that relationships offer.

Generally we enter relationships with the unconscious desire to feed or strengthen our egos, which is useful and appropriate at a certain stage of development. Over time however, The Universe/God/Goddess/Dharma/Awakening Consciousness usually has other plans for us!

The conflict, pain and disappointment that many of us experience in relationship has the potential to break us open in healthy surrender to a deeper aspect of our true selves. 

Once you open to this realization, your relationship landscape will change drastically, with possibilities showing up where bleak hopelessness once reigned. 

A very nifty tool for busy people who want to cultivate deeper awareness in their life and relationship is Spirituality & Practice, a unique online service that offers very digestible email study courses based on the work of leading spiritual teachers, both living and dead.

The quality of your gaze, your touch, your tone of voice - these little things contain powerful messages that shape your relationship, consciously or not. Slow down and pay attention to the subtleties of your life together. It’s the undercurrents, the little things, that contain the big things, not just the other way around. 

The masculine is concerned with big things, with boldness and grand gestures. There’s nothing wrong with this - it is as it should be - but know, the feminine picks up on the little things and turns them into big things. A masterful man sees the big reflected in the small and acts accordingly.